Tag: Blog Humor

Reblog: Redefined Words by Changing a Letter

These are really very humorous! And, really tickled the upper end of my humerus!

Oops! I changed one and omitted one! My bad …

e-Quips

 The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
> 2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
>
> 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
>
> 7. Giraffiti:…

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Sharpen Your Writing Skills!

Using Twitter to sharpen your writing skills?

But I don’t want to deal with the politics, vitriol. and hatred on Twitter!

Well, you don’t have to.

Yes! Twitter is in the news a lot. We hear about the vitriol and hate some express on Twitter. We hear about the censorship of conservative voices, and now we have just heard Twitter is banning all “political” ads.

It is easy to get caught up in the noise. And, I must admit I have been caught up in it a time or two … or three … or perhaps even four, myself.

However, I am going to try to work on that. Just be choosy in who or what you “follow.”

Now, about those writing skills …

sharpen your writing skills

One thing I really do enjoy on Twitter, is the supportive writing community. And I do participate in several, what I call “prompted Micro Fiction.” How it works is you get a daily word prompt, and you have the length of a Tweet to write a story, poem, or whatever you feel like writing. It is actually quite fun, and it does truly help sharpen your writing skills. I really like the #vss365 writing challenge.

Here a some examples I have written:


#lucid

“Damn! Clovis, that’s one hell of a shiner you’re sporting there! What happened?”

“The old lady asked me if her yoga pants made her look fat, Clem.”

“And, you said yes?”

“Damn, Clem, I didn’t want to lie to her!”

“Not one of your more #lucid moments, Clovis!

#vss365


#strike

Day-umm! Clovis! That’s one hell of a bruise!”

“Yep! It’s part second degree burn too!”

“Dude! What happened?”

“Well, guess I shot my mouth off at the old lady, Clem.”

“So, a bruise and a burn, Clovis?”

“The #strike came while the iron was still hot, Clem.”

#vss365


#verify

“What did the cops want Joe?”

“They needed to #verify where I was last night. There was some kind of upscuddle at the strip club. Told em I was with you.”

“But I was in that upscuddle Joe!”

“The cops don’t know that Clem.”

“I can #verify you’re an idiot Joe!”

#vss365


#second

“Listen Joe, there are two things life taught me.”

“Really? What’s are they Clem?”

“The first is that bills always travel through the mail much faster than checks.”

“And … the #second?”

“Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”

#vss365

Then sometimes, I even let my “romantic fool” side show …


#mystery

I will never understand the #mystery that is a woman’s heart!

She said to me once, “never underestimate the blackness that can be found there,” and then together, we had five of the best years of my life.

Turns out, I should have listened.

#vss365


#longing

There is a longing that cuts deep, to depths of my very soul. I live to again hear her voice, that wonderful laugh, to see her smile. I miss the stars that danced in her eyes. I pray that I will again feel the warmth of her loving embrace.

#vss365


#bottle

I looked over at her, finishing her last shot of Tequila, a sour look on her face.

“What’s up?” I asked. “Don’t #bottle that shit up inside. Let it go! Get it out in the open!”

She did! All over my brand new Nikes!

#vss365


So think about giving it a try!

Some of these Tweets got a really great response. But regardless, it is a lot of fun and a simple way to find out what other people, strangers, think about your writing.

Don’t forget to check out Serpents Underfoot and Adirondack Bear Tales, available at Amazon.

And for other interesting posts, click here!

Suggested Readings (Tongue in Cheek)

Do you have enough material for your winter reading list?

funny bone

A friend of mine posted these selections. A few of them looked pretty interesting, so I thought I would share them here.

  • How to Write Big Books by Warren Peace
  • The Lion Attacked by Claude Yarmoff
  • The Art of Archery by Beau N. Arrow
  • Songs for Children by Barbara Blacksheep
  • Irish Heart Surgery by Angie O’PLasty
  • Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel
  • School Truancy by Marcus Absent
  • I Was a Cloakroom Attendant by Mahatma Coate
  • I Lost My Balance by Eileen Dover and Phil Down
  • Positive Reinforcement by Wade Ago
  • Shhh! by Danielle Soloud
  • The Philippine Post Office by Imelda Letter
  • Stop Arguing by Xavier Breath
  • Spots on the Wall by Hu Phlong Poo
  • Yellow River by I.P. Freely
  • Under the Bleachers by C. Moor Butts
  • 50 Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Makit and Betty Wont

Reading is fundamental … but humor is good for the soul!

On another note, Serpents Underfoot is now available on Audible.com. I hope you will take a minute to check it out!