Category: Funny Bone

Early Morning Cat Fu

Our early morning constitutional …

cat fu

Sophie and I take a walk every morning to start our day. It was a beautifully crisp fall morning and we were enjoying our walk. Urgent matters behind us, we were headed back toward the hacienda, when suddenly a rather large yellow feral cat stepped out of the brush and faced us down. Both Sophie and the cat spotted each other at precisely the same time. The cat froze, it’s tail twitching in an irritated manner, but it did not move. Sophie froze as well, and so began an epic stare-down! Neither Sophie nor the cat would move. Just an occasional twitch of the cat’s tail while Sophie remained coiled like a spring … ready to leap.

It was like the story of the two old masters

I used to tell kids in my children’s karate classes a story about two old Okinawan karate masters where were manipulated into a challenge match. They met on the beach at sunrise, and faced each other as the villagers gathered to see the epic fight. Shifting into their ready stances, each fixed a powerful gaze on the other and waited.

I watched as the cat stood its ground, staring at Sophie with its own ‘powerful gaze.” Sophie stared right back, not blinking and immovable. Neither were willing to give ground or surrender to the other’s “chi.”

In the story of the two old masters, after an hour of watching the masters face each other unflinchingly, the villagers, some what disappointed, deemed the challenge match a tie … and everyone went home.

In the case of Sophie and the cat, after several minutes, I called it a tie and we all went home.

cat fu
I didn’t get a picture of the cat, so this will have to do …

Lessons learned …

Each of the old masters understood that the first one to attack, would die. That is why there is “no first strike in karate.” You cannot move without creating an opening. All the other combatant has to do is be patient and skilled enough to take advantage of that opening.

In the case of Sophie and the cat, I think the cat, obviously being the older and wiser of the two, decided it was too fine a morning for a spat, and nonchalantly sauntered back off into the underbrush.

Sophie, on the other hand, seemed very proud of herself, having just saved her master from the evil ninja cat that leapt out from the dark woods to wreak destruction and vengeance on the entire universe!

It was definitely an interesting start to a new day!

If you have time, please take a minute and check out Serpents Underfoot and Adirondack Bear Tales on Amazon.com.

Suggested Readings (Tongue in Cheek)

Do you have enough material for your winter reading list?

funny bone

A friend of mine posted these selections. A few of them looked pretty interesting, so I thought I would share them here.

  • How to Write Big Books by Warren Peace
  • The Lion Attacked by Claude Yarmoff
  • The Art of Archery by Beau N. Arrow
  • Songs for Children by Barbara Blacksheep
  • Irish Heart Surgery by Angie O’PLasty
  • Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel
  • School Truancy by Marcus Absent
  • I Was a Cloakroom Attendant by Mahatma Coate
  • I Lost My Balance by Eileen Dover and Phil Down
  • Positive Reinforcement by Wade Ago
  • Shhh! by Danielle Soloud
  • The Philippine Post Office by Imelda Letter
  • Stop Arguing by Xavier Breath
  • Spots on the Wall by Hu Phlong Poo
  • Yellow River by I.P. Freely
  • Under the Bleachers by C. Moor Butts
  • 50 Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Makit and Betty Wont

Reading is fundamental … but humor is good for the soul!

On another note, Serpents Underfoot is now available on Audible.com. I hope you will take a minute to check it out!